169 BOY

That was the license plate on my pontiac when I was in college.

No one believed it wasn't personalized.

especially when they saw it parked in the parking lot of the local gay bar.

Quote

When they took the 4th Amendment, I was quiet because I didn't deal drugs.
When they took the 6th Amendment, I was quiet because I am innocent.
When they took the 2nd Amendment, I was quiet because I don't own a gun.
Now they have taken the 1st Amendment, and I can only be quiet.
--Lyle Myhr

Cool! I'm old!

Just sitting here looking at my hair, and I noticed a white one. COOL! So now I'm looking all over to see if I can find more. What's cool about my white hair? it's not gray, it's WHITE. Silvery, pretty, and white. And since my hair is babyfine anyway, the fact that my white hair is thicker than the ones around it is cause for rejoicing as well.

no, I DO NOT need a life, thank you.

Conversations with my mother

If insanity is hereditary, I swear to the Gods I'm adopted. Both my parents are sane, rational people. How in the hell did they end up with a daughter who looked up the definition of "drama queen" as a fetus, and decided HEY! that sounds like a lot of fun!

I started out with frosted hair. Seriously, I had brown hair with blonde tips when I was born. Mom took credit for that one, but I Totally crawled out of the womb one night and applied the bleach myself.

I can remember being about 2, and Mom was yelling at me for some minor infraction of the rules like, oh, putting a fork in an outlet, and thinking "wow, Mommy has really pretty hair. I wish my hair was that pretty."

When I was a kid, and I couldn't find my bookbag before school, it was THE END OF THE WORLD! seriously, the planet was going to come to a grinding halt because Kit couldn't find her spelling book that she left under the chair in the living room. (see, I needed my spelling book, because I hadn't actually done my homework, and was planning on doing it on the busride to school. If I missed the bus, mom wouldn't let me get away with doing my homework in the car, plus I wouldn't have enough time. and if I didn't have the book, homework did not get done, and the nuns would get that nasty wrinkle between their eyes again, and it just. wasn't. pretty.)

Things I learned the hard way:

If I'm 7 and I slam my door repeatedly to let mom know that I'm pissed off, after about the third slam, my 6' 2" father will be standing RIGHT THERE. Nothing fouls up a good hissy fit like a dose of "Knock. It. Off." delivered in a deep baritone.

Just because I think that jumping down the laundry chute is fun, doesn't mean my 2 year old little brother will.

If I don't clean up my room in a timely fashion, I will come home to find most of my toys in the trash, and no amount of crying, screaming, begging and pleading will get them back.

I SO didn't have Veruca Salt's parents. "I want it NOW" would have resulted in a fatherly pat.
on the backside.
with a wooden spoon.

The mother's curse works. Mom wished kids "who act exactly like you do" on me and now? I call her to let her know what her grandsons have done lately, and the woman laughs and laughs and laughs. "really? my oldest grandson called you a horrible mother, and stalked off in a huff? BWAH!!!!!!!"



Well, I may not have inherited their sanity, but I did get a good dose of their sense of humor.

Selling God

Some bible people showed up at my door just now. I could tell they were bible people because... see.. get this: they had bibles in their hands. Of course, I could be wrong. They could have had any books about that size (bigger than a paperback, smaller than a hardback) with that special bendy, well used leather cover, but I was figuring that they were bibles. One of each, Male/Female, so I'm taking the staggering leap and guessing that they were not Mormons. Also, they didn't have the little name tags that the Mormon guys wear. Although, the guy was sorta cute, in a Keanu reeves kinda way. But I'm guessing they were JW's. they might have been Baptists, but I'm really thinking they were JW's, because my neighbor has been entertaining some JW's for a couple weeks now. I mean, you get well dressed people, wearing relatively conservative clothing, with books in their hands, and my first thought is not "hey, the Library Police are here about that magazine I said I lost."

I answered the door, said "Hello?" and the (kinda cute) guy said "How are you" and that's the point I noticed the bible-y type books, and remembered my neighbor.

Now, I could have been very polite, and said "how can I help you" and listened to their spiel, but the Husband was sleeping, the dog was barking, and I really had to get going on my long eventfull day ahead of me of cleaning, cleaning, and driving to Mansfield and back because I? am Taxi-Mom.

I could also have been a bitch, and jumped their shit for peddling their religion like it was a magazine subscription, but... I decided that hey, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. As much as I really really detest the idea of walking up to someone's home and bothering them just to try and tell them that their beliefs are just wrong and mine are right, I gotta admit that not everyone feels the way I do. See how that works? Hello? I'm looking at you, evengelical-fundamentalist types. So I just said "Sorry, I'm not interested." and shut the door. You know what they did, those Crazy Crazy JW's??

they walked away. simple as that. Now, if they come back I'll have to revise my opinion, but as it stands...

That wasn't so bad, was it?

I'm still getting a Flying Spaghetti Monster sticker for my door.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

I missed out on so much when I didn't watch SNL when my kid was small and I was in college....

New Car Goodness

We've been needing a second car for a while now. We wanted one that we could drive in the ice and snow, as our city seems to think that plowing streets is optional. Offroading is not a priority, at least not intentionally offroading. So we got a car-based SUV.

we didn't intend on getting a new one, but that's how it worked out. So now I have, as my main car, a great big honking carbased SUV. (trust me, after the little civic I was driving, this thing is huge. eeps.)

But hey, it's gots neat features. The best, of course, is that I can plug my MP3 player into the radio, or put in a burned CD. no more MP3 player with headphones while driving, boo-yah!

and all three boys fit very well in the back seat. and I can fit whatever I need to in the back.

yay!

I'm still not a soccer mom, Dammit!!! Soccer moms don't play J-Pop, Hayashibara Megumi, Linkin Park, Korn and Elfman while driving do they? DO THEY????

hee.