Grandma

My grandmother died April 28, 2005.

(from her obit)
She was born in Kansas, August 23, 1920.
She was a lifelong Akron resident since childhood. She loved her family, and will be especially remembered for the baked goods she so freely gave to family, friends, and many others. She prayed daily rosaries for loved ones and other intentions. She was always willing to help in any way.
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When I was a kid, my grandmother would come down a couple of times during the summer, and spend about a week. Grandma was an early riser, unlike my mom. So in the mornings, Mom would still be asleep, while Grandma and I would look through magazines together, and talk about stuff that grandmothers talk to their 8 year old grandaughters about, and we would sit in the rocking chair together. I loved that. Every Easter we went to her house to watch The Wizard of Oz. It was a tradition. One Christmas, she bought me the bestest doll in the world. Grandma understood that dolls must be immediately undressed, and dressed again, and she never teased me for that.

She always brought presents not only for me, but for my friends as well. When I was 3 my parents had the audacity to provide me with a baby brother. Grandma was the only person who seemed to understand the trauma of this event, and the only person who understood that it was important that I get a beautiful grandma-crocheted blanket for my baby doll, to match the one Mommy got for her baby. If I got a gift, my brother got a gift, and if my brother got a gift, I got a gift. Good thing our birthdays were within 10 days of each other. At Christmas, my brother and I would sit with Grandma during Mass, while Mom and Dad, and my Aunt and Uncle sang and played in the folk group. We spent every Christmas, every birthday, every Easter, every Thanksgiving together with Grandma, and my Aunt and Uncle.



Grandma was the youngest of 4, children of immigrants. Great grandma and great grandpa came from a town in Russia that had been settled by German immigrants. So they were immigrants twice removed, I guess. My great Grandmother died when Grandma was 12, and 4 years later Grandma had to drop out of school to help support her family. that was in 1936.



She got married young, and had my mom in 1942. My Aunt was born in 48. Shortly afterwards, my grandfather lost his freaking mind, and Grandma was a divorced, single mother of two little girls. One of her greatest achievements was the creation of a strong family bond with her daughters.



They always have been very close, and Mom and her sister are still very close. Grandma was the matriarch who held our family together. Strong lady, in those days, to ignore the stupid people who thought the divorce was somehow her fault, to provide her daughters with love, education, and self-respect. Both my Aunt and my Mother finished college, married men who love them deeply, and are living happy lives.



My grandmother was raised Roman Catholic. She was very devout, yet never chastised me for having oldestboy and not getting married. When he was born, she lived about a block away from the hospital they took him to, and she went every single day to visit him in the neonatal ICU. I remember her getting mad because the hat they put on him was pink instead of blue. Years later, when I finally came out as a NeoPagan, she wasn't happy about it, but she accepted that I knew what I was doing, and never told me that I was going to hell, or anything at all like that. Grandma never judged people, and I wish I could be more like her. She left me one of her rosaries, and I keep it on my altar. My NeoPagan altar. Somehow, I think both my Goddess, and her God understand. Grandma was never about the punishing God, she was about the forgiving God, the loving God, the Jesus who loved all mankind. That's what she was about.



She always wanted a brown-eyed great grandaughter. What she got was a brown-eyed great grandson who looked almost exactly like her. He was like her in another way... Grandma battled Lymphoma 3 times, and beat it back each time. Babyguy got Leukemia when he was 2 1/2, and he beat that as well. So Grandma knew exactly what the chemo he was going through felt like, and she could sympathize. She prayed a rosary for him every single day.

Grandma baked. cookies, pies, cakes, you name it, she baked it. Christmas came, and she was the main cookie-maker for just about everyone. Birthdays brought the best birthday cakes, including decadent chocolate cake. 4th of July brought Spumoni cake. Christmas brought about a dozen different kinds of cookies, including double chocolate cherry bourbon balls. visits during the rest of the year brought peanutbutter cookies, and toll house cookies. When I was very small, when we left her house, she would put together a "poke" full of treats for me to eat on the way home. At one point, when I was in college she told me that she was leaving all her baking stuff, and her cookbooks to me. After she died, my aunt gave me a box filled with cookbooks, and cuttings, and notebooks with recipes in her handwriting. One of the greatest treasures I have.

Both my parents are musical. So are my Aunt and Uncle. My parents eventually started a folk group mass at their church, and my aunt and uncle started one at their church. When I was little, Dad would bring his guitar, his recorders, and at one point-his banjo-, mom would bring her tambourine and afuji, and Mom and Dad and my Aunt and Uncle would all get together and play the songs they sang in church every sunday. My Aunt and Uncle had the same instruments that Mom and Dad had, with the addition of krumhorns, so it was 4 people singing and playing. Grandma loved it. As we all got older, and my brother and I grew up, and we didn't get together as much, the musical endings to our get togethers gradually faded. After a while, we only got together around Thanksgiving, New Year's, 4th of July. And with all the talking, eating, playing with great-grandchildren, and talking, there never seemed to be time for singing. At Grandma's funeral Mass, the four of them all played together for the last time for Grandma.

I'm betting she loved it.