chaosfox

2007-11-27T18:02:00.000-05:00

Memorial Day 2007

2007-05-28T10:01:00.000-05:00

A day of remembrance, a whole day off of work to recognize those who died in battle to protect our country, our constitution, our people... that's a good thing, in my opinion.

But a "national moment of reflection"? a "national moment of prayer"?

That's way too micromanaged for me. Way too Orwellian. Telling everybody that at 3pm (which times zone?) they are to stop for a moment, on command of the government, and "reflect" or "pray".. that's really over the top.

I can understand a bunch of infomercials about the real meaning of memorial day, to remind everybody that the day isn't about grilling hot dogs and steaks, eating corn-on-the-cob and sleeping in, that while those things are nice, the real reason most people are getting the extra day off is because our government wants to recognize what our soldiers have given.

But a national moment of silence? That's too much like mandating that people fly flags in front of their house. It's nice if we do, but when it's mandated, it loses all meaning. It goes from being a patriotic gesture to being a nationalistic requirement.

Ya know, if the government really appreciated our soldiers, they would take some of those funds for the military, and rechannel them into higher salaries for the enlisted, so their families wouldn't have to go on food stamps. Better medical care, better body armor, better communications.. instead of bigger bombs and pork for the big corporations with sweet military contracts.

I'm not even going to get into sending them over to start a war over lies, to a place they can't win, and shouldn't be. Because I could be mistaken about that. I don't think I am, but even if I'm not.. I still respect and thank the soldiers who are going over there, the ones who agree with me as well as the ones who don't.

So, while I disagree with our government, while I think a mandated "moment" is ridiculous, I support the day of recognition.

“They stand on a wall and say nothing’s gonna hurt you tonight…not on my watch”.
~A Few Good Men~

Thank you, warriors who stood on a wall.

Thanks.

2007-05-17T17:05:00.000-05:00

So my son was watching Robin Hood (the disney animated version) on Disney, while eating froot loops and waiting to go to work.

I mentioned that I watched it in the theater, and when I was a kid I had a vinyl with the entire soundtrack, dialog included, and I used to play it all the time.

he said "I keep forgetting how old you are."

No. No,no,no,no,no!

2007-04-27T20:11:00.000-05:00

My husband forced me to get an SUV. well, he didn't force, but it turned out to be the best car at the time for our needs. It's a small SUV, more like a miniSUV, but an SUV nonetheless. So, I drive an SUV, that is established. FOr Christmas this year, my in-laws got me a cell phone. I have resisted getting one for years, but I am now a certified, cell-phone totin' Suv drivin' mom. So oldestboy calls me on my cell while I'm trying to drive in bad weather, and because there is no place to pull over, instead of telling him to knock it off, because if I don't pick up, he keeps calling back till I do anyway, I am talking on my cell while DRIVING in bad weather. driving an SUV while being a mom, nonetheless. I am a cellphonetalking whiledriving an SUV mom.

babyguy brought home a paper from school that listed a bunch of extracurricular activities he could join. He wants to play soccer.

my head asploded.

revelation

2007-01-15T19:10:00.000-05:00

If I amuse myself, that's half the battle won right there. Amusing anyone else is purely bonus.

Thoughts on Hussein's execution, & the mess in Iraq in general.

2006-12-31T11:41:00.000-05:00

As I understand it, he was tried by an Iraqi court, judged by Iraqis, and executed by Iraqi order...

And everyone will still blame the US and there will be reprisals on any American who is in the area.

The execution will make a remarkable scapegoat for attacks that would have happened anyway.

I was under the impression that the US Gov put Hussein in power in the first place, and supported him for a while. So there's quite enough blood and blame to spread around as to who is at fault, who is responsible, and who should bear the brunt of the fallout.

It's my belief that when you have fucked something up beyond all redemption, that further fucking with it will only result in a bigger mess. Sometimes you have to just step back, admit that the mess is yours and that you can't fix it, and give someone else a try at fixing it.

What a way to end the year, huh?

As for the snuff film going around:

If it gives someone peace and closure, hell, let 'em watch it. The man's dead now anyway. Just remember that those on the other side are people too, and some of them may get the same closure watching our soldiers and citizens die, because they have been told over and over again how everything bad is our fault. If a mother has seen her child killed by an American soldier, it may be that watching an American soldier get his head cut off will aleviate her grief. If a girl has seen her entire family killed by American soldiers, been raped by them, it may help her to see American soldiers tortured and killed. Just somethihg to think about...

Happy 2007. Two more years to go, may the Gods help us.

Oldest Boy

2006-12-02T13:36:00.000-05:00

today's post written by Oldest Boy, on the subject of the moron who put her baby in a microwave.

I don't take kindly to people who put their babies in microwaves. Microwaves are for food, not babies. As far as I know, people don't wake up and say "MMM, I want some tasty baby!" The woman who put her baby in the microwave should get in a blimp and float to Antarctica; but she can't go to see Happy Feet. I also think that she should be forced to become a Sceintologist, because like Tom Cruise, she must be insane. Furthermore, I'm hoping that they will add a "no baby" symbol on the microwave safety label now so that people round the world will know how dumb she truly is. On that note, should baby ever be added to the American diet, I will be forced to move to New Zealand and chill with Gimli the dwarf.

Holiday Saga

2006-11-22T14:36:00.000-05:00

Our Fridge died last friday. Well, the freezer kept things at about fridge level coldness, but the fridge part itself was at a constant 50 some degrees. or more. So I ordered a new fridge on Friday, and they said that the schedule was full to deliver on Sat, but they could deliver Tuesday.

they never showed up on Tuesday. they finally showed up today. But we can't fill the fridge till 1am, and for some reason, I don't think we'll be able to restock before Friday.

I also got a wisdom tooth pulled on Tuesday, and could have used nice cold milk to drink, and cream of yummy soup, but no......

'tupid appliance place didn't get their shit together.

plus I was too sick to work today so we're screwed. How come we are getting slammed all the time?

still better than last year when babyguy came down with chickenpox, the pipes to our redone 1/2 bath froze and snapped the sink faucet, and we had a major blizzard and I had to shop for thanksgiving thursday morning.

I guess it's better.

Sex Offender

2006-11-06T10:34:00.000-05:00

When people can be put on the 'sex offenders' list for having consentual sex with their spouses in their own living rooms, the title has lost all meaning.

Keep it for the predators, the actual molesters, the serial rapists. Not the twit who got drunk with some hook-up and didn't understand that "wow, I wanna fuck you so har--hurrrrrl" was a signal that he needed to walk away now instead of waiting around till she felt better. Not the guy who was just as drunk as his date, and thought that maybe her ripping his clothes off him, sucking his tonsils out, and saying "fuck me hard" was, in actuality, a "no, I'm too drunk to have sex with you." because we all know that women are just not responsible enough to know what they are doing when they are drunk. unless they're driving a car. or doing anything except having sex with a big, strong, responsible male. (if you did not note the sarcasm there, please get your detector repaired.)

So some asshole shows off his wee wittle winky to some girl. Now, how is she hurt by this? If it's on the street, and he's just some random assclown with a problem, it's a matter for the public health police, and a well adjusted parent tells their kid "wow, what an idiot." and doesn't make too big a deal out of it.

Now, if the exhibitionist is a teacher? and the exhibition takes place in a secluded or private area where the adult has brought the kid, and it's surrounded in secrecy? Yeah, then the kid is harmed. Not by simply seeing some penis, but because of the secrecy, because the kid is made to feel ashamed, or afraid.

A teacher who cannot control his/her exhibitionism while in the classroom, or around students does not need to be in charge of kids. The same with a teacher that cannot control her/his language, and continually says things like "Fuck you" "You Cunt" "Bush is a great Prez" in front of kids. People, control your impulses, please.

Kids, normal kids, see their parents naked. Sometimes it's because Mommy is taking a shower, or Daddy has to use the only john in the house while kid is taking a bath, or because Mommy and Daddy are comfortable in their own skin, and want to teach their children that there's nothing obscene about the human body.

Keeping everything shrouded in secrecy hurts. It causes festering, it causes fear, and if a kid is taught that there's nothing wrong with seeing someone else's nudity, but EVERYTHING wrong with being told "don't tell anyone what we're doing" or with being touched against their will, the kid should be able to tell their parents without any fear that Mommy and Daddy might be angry with them.

Today's winning Fark headline...

2006-10-31T09:43:00.000-05:00

"The earliest witches were respected dealers in medicinal herbs. So give the homey in a red bandana a broom, already"

Hey..Happy Halloween and Blessed Samhain.

site meters

2006-10-23T07:35:00.000-05:00

some people have site meters on their blogs. Some people put them on their forums, too.

one of the nifty things that people with site meters do, is they check out where people have come from before hitting their site.

I try to find interesting sites to surf on in from. It's a hobby.

in other news, I've had a part-time job for about 6 weeks now, and it looks like it's going to stick. YAY!

but I'm still not making enough cash. DAMN!

I live in Ohio, and I VOTE!!!!

2006-09-29T16:12:00.000-05:00

'nuff said.

Ya really

2006-09-23T13:02:00.000-05:00

Me:"most of the loudmouth leaders in the christian religions, including the vatican, only act like something is a sin if it's about sex."

person who needs a clue:"you hate catholics"

WTFH? Blow me.

That's as out of the fucking woodwork as the chick who said, to a friend, "your husband isn't really a father, he's just a nice uncle who only shows up 4 days a month, no offense intended" and when I called her on her "no offense intended" bullshit, shot back with "You just hate non-Americans."

I want a pellet gun that shoots WTF pellets onto people's asses already.

*hastens to don bullet-proof panties*

today's post brought to you by the four letter word for fornication. yay, fornication!

George Carlin - Owner of this Country

2006-09-02T09:04:00.000-05:00

Damned Straight

2006-08-03T10:07:00.000-05:00

Don't Touch Me (pregnancy rant)

Google = internet crack...

2006-07-31T16:04:00.000-05:00

It all started because I was cleaning out my attic. Seriously, want a really good reason NOT to clean your attic? This might do. So, I found a whole bunch of notes that I took in "History of Costume" back in the day, and I'm reading them, and an old newsletter was stuck in the back of the notebook, so of course I read that, too. And one name struck me. It was the name of "that guy".. you know that guy, the one who you just KNOW is going to make it. the guy with talent just falling out his ass? Everyone else could be selling pencils, meth or partylite candles on the street corners, but you just KNOW that guy won't be. He'll be the one person who follows the dream.

So, for the hell of it, I looked him up on IMDB. Yep. there he was, Mr. Successful, having not only directed a few films, but written several screenplays, etc, etc, and damn, good for him.

So, I thought that would be the end of it, but noooo...next I'm innocently watching a rerun of a second season NCIS episode, and I'm playing "name that actor, where the fuck have I seen him before" and of course I knew he was "Ethan" from Lost, but hell, still had to look him up, right? Plus one of the other guests looked familiar. (Turns out I'd seen him in something or other, but he was totally forgettable.) At any rate, I'm just scanning the guest actor list, and a name pops out at me. I know that name. As a matter of fact, I have a freaking yearbook photo in my head to go with that name. So I check out her IMDB page, and yeah, it could be her... some 20 years later. So I dig through my yearbooks- conveniently located where else, the attic- and yep.. I went to high school with her.

Holy shit.

And actually, good for her, because dammit, she wanted it badly enough to work for it, and she got it. Yay her.

Of course this lead to the google-ing of other names that happened to pop into my head. So I'm looking up random people that I knew back when I was still adorable, and ...damn. Nothing makes you feel old like finding out one of your old fuckbuddies is now a CHANCELLOR at a college. It's not as if he was that much older than me, either. But there he is, and... damn. I'm old. I now need to get a tattoo or something, just so I can be even LESS respectable than I already am. Chancellor. Damn.

Which leads me to the impetus to write this particular post. I did it. I'm not proud of it, I'm a weak, weak, woman, and I did it. I googled an ex boyfriend. Not that I want to get back together with him or anything, but hell, since google is now my internet crack delivery system, might as well. Better than venturing up into the attic when it's 94 fucking degrees here...

He's on Blogger. He has a Blog. He's remodeling his kitchen. He did a great job too, from the looks of it. He looks just like I remember him. Wow. I left a comment on his blog. I bookmarked his blog.

I'm seriously NOT a stalker, really really REALLY I'm not.

Just keep me away from Google. And out of the attic.

Oh NO! not TEH GHEY!!!!

2006-07-28T23:05:00.000-05:00

So, preschoolers may get to learn that there are some parents who happen to be in a same-sex relationship, or -as I like to call it- “a married couple who are gay.”

This has caused a number of people to freak right the fuck out. Their main reaction:

“I don’t want to teach my child about sex.”

What in the Freaking Hell?

So I have to ask them...When your child sees a married hetero couple, do you talk about sex with them?

Why should seeing a same-sex couple be any different? Is it absolutely necessary to point out "oh yeah, see those two men? They like getting it on with the nasty together, just like daddy and I do"? Do you tell your kid "yeah, daddy and I have lots of sex, and so do all your friend's parents. 'cause we're straight."

WTF does sex and the having of it have to do with same sex couples who parent children that opposite sex couples who parent children doesn't?

answer: absolutely nothing. not a damned thing. there is no need to talk about sex at all when pointing out to a small child that there are all kinds of families, and some of those families happen to have two mommies or two daddies.

If you're not talking about sex with your kid when you see str8 couples with kids, why the hell would you think you have to talk about it when/if you see gay couples with kids?

holy shit already.

Why the hell do people think that when they talk about a gay couple, they have to go into details about anal sex, and how much lube is needed per night? You would think that when they see a gay couple, the first thing they think of is "Hey, they're boning each other. heh. heh."

What the fucking hell is so damned offensive about one man kissing another man, that isn't offensive about a man kissing a woman?

grow up and get out of the fourth grade already, jackasses!

Here's a hint. Little kids? don't care about sex. They may know that rubbing whatever feels really nice, and that boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina,(or whatever stupid, weird, or cutesy name their sexually repressed parents thought up to name said body parts) but beyond that they don't really care, nor do they want to know. "Todd has a daddy, but no mommy" "Lina has two mommies" "Taran lives with his grandma".. these are all they know, all they really need to know. So wtf is up with the hand-wringing and "oh my baby doesn't need to know about sex yet, so keep her the hell away from the gayfolk!" bullshit?

Damn.

Empty Minds

2006-07-19T10:38:00.000-05:00

Empty Minds <----Click Here

Eating out.

2006-07-18T14:24:00.000-05:00

Now this is funny.

Found another good one....

2006-07-15T21:19:00.000-05:00

Waiter Rant: Where's Prozac when you need it?

"The phone rings.

“The Bistro,” I answer, “How can I help you?”

“What kind of cuisine do you serve?” a female voice asks.

“Northern Italian madam.”

“And what’s your sushi special tonight?”

I pause a moment."

Unfortunately, he didn't follow this with "then I reached through the phone and hit her in the head with a brick"....

still..

Waiter Rant

read. thank you Dasha!!!!

I love my son.

2006-07-09T20:12:00.000-05:00

I walked into the living room. Babyguy was watching TV. The Food Channel.

"Hi Momma, I'm watching the Food Channel. The secret ingredient is frozen peas."

dialog

2006-07-02T08:53:00.000-05:00

Oldest boy is house sitting.

dialog with midkid:
"now that your brother's temporarily out of the house, you're the oldest kid. You have all his responsibilities."

"does that mean I get his room or something?"

bad bad blogger

2006-06-30T16:17:00.000-05:00

I've noticed that I'm only updating about once a week lately. nd it's not that I don't have topics that come to mind, it's just that I don't write about them.

One such topic: Oldest boy graduated High School. best comment of the day?

"Congratulations! you've leveled up!" (roleplaying reference. very funny.)

So now I've got one done, two to go. He's not out of the nest yet, but he's ready to start trial flights.

Another such topic: babyguy had a birthday. He wanted strawberry cake with white chocolate frosting, and the only recipe I had required a three layer cake. so it was a little lopsided. still pretty good. very pink. he decided that next year, he wants a spumoni cake. He received another 20,000 legos, as per request. And oldest boy bought him a gun that shoots foam suction cup ended 'darts' and... explosives. yep, according to the resident 18 year old, the proper gift for an 8 year old is something that explodes with a bang when you toss it on the ground. Hey, at least I talked the 10 year old into emptying the dishwasher for the week as a birthday present.

topics that I could write about but haven't include:
1) I weeded part of my garden. If I get ambitious, I'll weed the rest of it tomorrow. I might even paint. If you're lucky, you get to watch it dry.

2) My neighbor is moving to florida. the good one, who is nice to everyone, doesn't make a lot of noise, and isn't a major jerk. I wish I could be enthusiastic about new neighbors. but hey! the renter a couple houses down stabbed her live in boyfriend and I MISSED IT! I could have been on Maury if I'd been paying more attention. Maybe I'll get interesting neighbors like that! won't that be a trip and a half?

3) I have found a new webcomic. I must add it to my sidebar.
go to Devil's Panties today. You're welcome.

Fulfilling my job as Captain States-the-Obvious-

1) I had to have my 14 year old cat put to sleep. well that sucked.

2) when you get a lot of rain? you have reason to bitch. But bitching about a small creek in your basement to a person who lost everything to Katrina last year is just a little fucking obnoxious. that's why I didn't do it.

3)people on religious forums are generally assholes. that's a newsflash.

You wanna really have fun? Tell a fundi who thinks that masterbation is 'sinful' that women can masterbate without even touching themselves.

It will blow their minds.

What? I can.

Mwahahahahaha
You just got bonked by the TMI fairy!

The Mommy Wars….

2006-06-23T12:53:00.000-05:00

According to some overpaid pundit, women who have earned a college degree and yet decide to stay at home and not bring in a paycheck have wasted their educations.

No word on men who do the same.

No word on men OR women who cannot get jobs in their field and end up working some minimum wage or union job to bring in the cash instead of what they planned on doing, either.

When I was a single mother, I got a degree in theater. My plan was to support myself and my son, doing something I was good at, that I liked.

Then Life Happened.

TEH HORRORZ!!!11!!

Over a decade later, I'm a SAHM, with three kids. Was my education wasted? Was the grant I obtained to pay for my education wasted? Was the time my profs spent teaching me wasted?

I keep thinking someone else could have had that spot, someone else could have benefited from that money...

But what about the men who aren't in the careers that they studied for? My brother got a degree in computer something or other. Since outsourcing, he's now making a living laying cable. Was his education wasted? One of the women I studied with left theater altogether and started over on a new degree in education. What I said about myself could apply to her, too.

Why is ANY education considered "wasted" when it doesn't pan out as planned? Is an educated society THAT BAD?

Is it possible that educated women AND men make more informed parents? Is there no contribution unless it can be measured in taxable income?

meh.

Tonight's post brought to you by the letters "B" and "L" and the number 3....

2006-06-16T23:12:00.000-05:00

Apparantly there's a breastfeeding brouhaha over at blogging baby.... courtesy of L who blogs Homesick Home, (note the link over there---->) and has the audacity to feel that breastfeeding your kid should be a choice, not an imperative. Oh the Humanity! (or huge mammeries, which - I wasn't going to go there, but it's late and I'm lame. :oP)

So, anyway, She's started an informal poll, that I wanted to respond to, but I don't want to take up her entire freaking replies section, so I'm answering here, then I'll do that totally awesome html linking thing. 'cause I'm that good. (like 500,000,000 other women. meh.)

I'll start off by giving my breastfeeding creds:

I breastfed all three boys. The oldest, I pumped, because he was a preemie, and he never did get the hang of actually nursing. After a horrendous session of sleep deprivation on my part he went on formula at around 3 months or so. Midkid had to be pried away from my breast at the age of three or so, and he was the only one who was still nursing after he learned to talk. Cute kid, figured out how to climb out of his crib in the middle of the night and toddle into my room, climb up into my bed, and grab a snack well before he reached his first birthday. When I was feeding his little brother, he'd come up , gaze at me with his great big adorable blue eyes and say "sip a nipple?" which makes me a really bad mommy, because not only did I cave, but I thought it was really funny. Babyguy decided that cups were better when he was about a year old, and just stopped. my breasts didn't get the message for another 6 months or so, so THAT was fun.

So L had two questions:
How many of you tasted your own breastmilk?
How many of you tasted your wife/partner`s breastmilk?

which are sort of only one question...so here goes:
I not only tasted my own breastmilk, I tried feeding it to my dog. Said dog was a beagle, and anyone who has ever owned a beagle knows that they will eat/drink/chew on ANYTHING that's not fast enough to get out of their way. This is a dog that thought cat poop was a tasty snack left just for her.

She turned her nose up at the breastmilk. This may explain why my oldest son never got the hang of nursing. At the time, I was 21, my younger brother was 18, and he thought the dog dissing my breastmilk was freaking hysterical. I was hurt, I really was.

>insert sad face<

I tried again, the tasting that is, when I had my second baby, and really.. if memory serves correctly, it just tastes like sweetened milk. very sugary, kinda thick, like cream. and warm. I never tried it cold, though. Husbandguy refused to try it, but he got a taste anyway. Let's just say that hormonal urges turn on the spigots, and we didn't stick to missionary all the time. (think spraying fountain. gives a whole new definition to the term 'water sports" which is fine by me.)

yep. the joys of motherhood.

oh, and on the whole breastfeeding issue? I've got a proposition. Let's all leave women who want to nurse their kids the freak alone, whether they're doing it at the mall, in a restaurant, at the beach, or in their own living rooms, and likewise not get all gestapo on women who would rather not nurse for whatever reasons that it's none of our freaking business to get all in their faces about, Okay?

Cool.

I never got around to making that breastmilk sourdough starter I saw recipes for....

OH NOES!!! 6-6-6

2006-06-06T22:18:00.000-05:00

Today, June 6, 2006 is generally written in the western calendar as 06/06/06. I thought all the idjits running around with the "it's the number of the beast!" and "it's the end of the world!" hysteria were basically full of the proverbial bovine processed grain.

However, I must consider this:

I spent the day at the zoo with several hyperactive little boys, thus I was too tired to cook, so Burger King made our dinner.

I ordered, pulled around to the second window and paid. My change?

$6.66

I kid you not.

I always knew there was something creepy about that Burger King guy.....

I want my country back

2006-05-31T19:15:00.000-05:00

Today, I drove down to >insert college town here< to pick up my son, and on the way back, wedecided to stop off at the grocery store to pick up a few items. One item I'd been looking for for a while now was matches, in the box. They used to be with the grill stuff/paper plates in the paper stuff section, but when I went to find them for the last few months, they haven't been there.

So, I happen to look at the very bottom shelf of the impulse item shelf at the end of the checkout line, and there are the matches. Gee, that was really easy to find, your grocery store morons.

But.. it gets better. We used the scan-it-yourself aisle, because the other aisles were all pretty full, and we only had about 6 things.

the machine hung up because, get this: matches are an "age restricted item."

What the fuck?

matches? since when are matches an age restricted item? holy shit!

You have to show fucking ID to get allergy meds, for shit's sake, and you can't even get them during late store hours, you have to fuck around at the pharmacy to get fucking sudafed, for shit's sake, which used to come nice and cheap, and now only comes in expensive name brand so thank you, you congressional assmonkies, and now you have to show proof that you're 18 to buy fucking MATCHES??

I want my country back. I want the stupid nannystate bullshit to fucking stop allready.

this is insane.

Memorial Day

2006-05-29T17:57:00.000-05:00

I frequent a religion message board, where deletions run rampant.
This gem was posted by a man I only know as "Kuma" and all I know about him is that his wife is Japanese, he's a bit older than me, and he has a warrior's spirit.

I know it will get deleted, as he angers the Religious fundies over there, and they won't like this.

so I'm posting it here, to keep alive.

16022. On Memorial Day
by kuma03, 5/29/06 15:34 ET

If you wish, I would like to Memorialize the following fallen and effected by the selfishness of warfare:

- The soldiers fallen giving their lives for what they were told to believe in.

- The soldiers fallen rescuing fellow soldiers, civilians and even the enemy from harm.

- The wives, husbands, sons and daughters who were told that their loved one has fallen.

- The soldiers that must return to their nation missing limbs or handicapped in other ways from experiencing warfare.

- The children in the war zones that grow up emotionally severed from seeing the destruction

- The politicians. Yes... the nuts that convince us into war. They will fall eventually with the death of others on their conscience.

- The medics: their job is to save lives. And for the rest of their lives, they will wonder if they had done something different, more lives would have been saved.

- the 'Enemy': everyone is an enemy to someone else if you set the table for such an event. Just discern the information that you are getting for dinner.

- The 6000 fallen US men and women in Afghanistan, Iraq and WTC.

- The 40,000 civilians of Afghanistan and Iraq.

And finally: all of the faces you never hear about that fall in war: executed, disease, suicide, starvation, frozen, or simply die from having no more life left to address the horror.

San san san

Origami

2006-05-26T08:52:00.000-05:00

So, I'm following the directions for beginner's origami, and I'm happily folding away, when suddenly I realize that what I'm holding in my hands does not resemble what I'm supposed to have in my hands so much as it resembles an origami boulder folded by retarded simians. Oh, it resembles a butterfly, but where the paper is supposed to be in pieces, it's in one, because I opened the fold out, instead of pulling the point straight down, and who can follow all those directions that are just a bunch of two dimensional pictures anyway? It looks like a diamond, how am I supposed to know what's going on back there. Hey, at least I'm lucky enough to have figured out where I went wrong.

So I unfold everything, and start over again. Unlike my life, in which I just sit back and say "where did I go wrong now?" and it's not as if I can go looking for the directions to show me where I should have folded point a to point b instead of point c.

Even more frustrating is when I've made something before, and when I go to make it again, even following the same directions, I cannot figure out how I got it to go the right way. No clue. I do what I thought I did before, but obviously, it's not what I'm supposed to have done, because I'm sitting there with a bird base that refuses to do anything, instead of the halfway made dragonfly that I should be holding.

Now that IS what my life is usually like.

When I get my origami paper, I usually separate it into two piles. Colors I like and colors that I don't like. Colors I like are purple, green, blue, red, black, gray, and yellow. Bright yellow, and only because it makes some pretty origami stuff, normally I'm not a fan of yellow. Any metallics also go in the 'good' pile.

In the meh pile go all the browns, the oranges, the peach, the lime green, and the pink. These are the papers I use to fold anything new, that I'm not sure how to make, so if I'm gonna fuck up a paper, it's not one of the really nice ones, it's one of the narsty brown or orange ones.

One set of papers I get are tie-dyed in different colors, and I put the purple/blue/green ones in the good pile, and the brown/yellow/pink/orange/red ones in the meh pile. One of these papers has yellow corners and pink and red in the middle, and the butterfly I folded from it actually looked nice. My first run peach tulip in a lime green leaf/stalk also came out well. Yay me. The brown tie-dyed ones make good piggies, mice, and koi.

The metallic, two-sided paper that I get (actually, I think it's the only two-sided paper in the store. My craft store has a horrible dearth in the origami paper department, and I'm too frikkin busy (yeah.. busy. busy sounds better than lazy, no?) to either make my own, or find a better craft store.) is really pretty, most of it.

the above sentence is proof that my mind? is ADD, according to my family. Seriously, I was driving through the valley with my son and some friends one day, and talking about something or other, and saw a duck at the side of the road, and right in the middle of my sentence, I said "hey look! a duck!" and continued on with my train of thought without missing a beat. My son likes to remind me of this occasion at every possible opportunity.

So the papers, which come metallic/plain, are the following combos: gold/red, silver/purple, purple/green, green/yellow, magenta/blue, blue/pink. All of these make really pretty two-color origami ...er, things. Except the blue/pink. The blue, itself, is gorgeous. It’s a deep, pretty blue. The pink? is the same color as the regular pink origami paper. It's not a pretty rose color, it's not a deep magenta color, and it's not even a light, springy, happy pink. No, it's exactly the shade of pepto bismol.

Which would be great if I wanted to fold an origami pepto bismol bottle. Now, I'm certain that SOMEBODY has already folded one of these, and has posted directions for it on the net, and a dogpile search would bring up at least half-a-dozen pages on how to fold an origami pepto bismol bottle, but for shit's sake, that should be the definition of "way too much time on your hands" if you're making an entire web page on how to fold an origami pepto bismol bottle, not to mention the time it took to actually figure out the folds to make an origami pepto bismol bottle. Thinking about it though, is a freebie. Just means you have an active mind.

yeah.

Or, as in my case, your mind just goes in origami folds, all convoluted, and pain-in-the-ass, but if it works out right, you get something really neat.

inspired by a post @ I'm Not Sorry

2006-05-19T21:44:00.000-05:00

more medical procedures would benefit with the use of nitrous oxide.
hey, I'd get a pap smear every six months if it came with nitrous.
mammograms? hey, squish it smash it, bombard it with tap-dancing squirrels dude, just hand me the mask.

So I'm thinking....

2006-05-10T20:09:00.000-05:00

when I have a migraine, and that never bodes well.

but the whole three-gods-in-one thing? kinda like a reeses' cup. you know, peanut butter and chocolate, together is two flavors, one candy.. except there's three, so it'd have to be the reeses' cups with the caramel in them. You know, so there'd be three flavors.

I wonder if the holy spirit gets ticked off being the caramel?

I really need more excedrine.

Grandma

2006-04-28T10:38:00.000-05:00

My grandmother died April 28, 2005.

(from her obit)
She was born in Kansas, August 23, 1920.
She was a lifelong Akron resident since childhood. She loved her family, and will be especially remembered for the baked goods she so freely gave to family, friends, and many others. She prayed daily rosaries for loved ones and other intentions. She was always willing to help in any way.
-------------------------------------
-------------------------------------
When I was a kid, my grandmother would come down a couple of times during the summer, and spend about a week. Grandma was an early riser, unlike my mom. So in the mornings, Mom would still be asleep, while Grandma and I would look through magazines together, and talk about stuff that grandmothers talk to their 8 year old grandaughters about, and we would sit in the rocking chair together. I loved that. Every Easter we went to her house to watch The Wizard of Oz. It was a tradition. One Christmas, she bought me the bestest doll in the world. Grandma understood that dolls must be immediately undressed, and dressed again, and she never teased me for that.

She always brought presents not only for me, but for my friends as well. When I was 3 my parents had the audacity to provide me with a baby brother. Grandma was the only person who seemed to understand the trauma of this event, and the only person who understood that it was important that I get a beautiful grandma-crocheted blanket for my baby doll, to match the one Mommy got for her baby. If I got a gift, my brother got a gift, and if my brother got a gift, I got a gift. Good thing our birthdays were within 10 days of each other. At Christmas, my brother and I would sit with Grandma during Mass, while Mom and Dad, and my Aunt and Uncle sang and played in the folk group. We spent every Christmas, every birthday, every Easter, every Thanksgiving together with Grandma, and my Aunt and Uncle.

Grandma was the youngest of 4, children of immigrants. Great grandma and great grandpa came from a town in Russia that had been settled by German immigrants. So they were immigrants twice removed, I guess. My great Grandmother died when Grandma was 12, and 4 years later Grandma had to drop out of school to help support her family. that was in 1936.

She got married young, and had my mom in 1942. My Aunt was born in 48. Shortly afterwards, my grandfather lost his freaking mind, and Grandma was a divorced, single mother of two little girls. One of her greatest achievements was the creation of a strong family bond with her daughters.

They always have been very close, and Mom and her sister are still very close. Grandma was the matriarch who held our family together. Strong lady, in those days, to ignore the stupid people who thought the divorce was somehow her fault, to provide her daughters with love, education, and self-respect. Both my Aunt and my Mother finished college, married men who love them deeply, and are living happy lives.

My grandmother was raised Roman Catholic. She was very devout, yet never chastised me for having oldestboy and not getting married. When he was born, she lived about a block away from the hospital they took him to, and she went every single day to visit him in the neonatal ICU. I remember her getting mad because the hat they put on him was pink instead of blue. Years later, when I finally came out as a NeoPagan, she wasn't happy about it, but she accepted that I knew what I was doing, and never told me that I was going to hell, or anything at all like that. Grandma never judged people, and I wish I could be more like her. She left me one of her rosaries, and I keep it on my altar. My NeoPagan altar. Somehow, I think both my Goddess, and her God understand. Grandma was never about the punishing God, she was about the forgiving God, the loving God, the Jesus who loved all mankind. That's what she was about.

She always wanted a brown-eyed great grandaughter. What she got was a brown-eyed great grandson who looked almost exactly like her. He was like her in another way... Grandma battled Lymphoma 3 times, and beat it back each time. Babyguy got Leukemia when he was 2 1/2, and he beat that as well. So Grandma knew exactly what the chemo he was going through felt like, and she could sympathize. She prayed a rosary for him every single day.

Grandma baked. cookies, pies, cakes, you name it, she baked it. Christmas came, and she was the main cookie-maker for just about everyone. Birthdays brought the best birthday cakes, including decadent chocolate cake. 4th of July brought Spumoni cake. Christmas brought about a dozen different kinds of cookies, including double chocolate cherry bourbon balls. visits during the rest of the year brought peanutbutter cookies, and toll house cookies. When I was very small, when we left her house, she would put together a "poke" full of treats for me to eat on the way home. At one point, when I was in college she told me that she was leaving all her baking stuff, and her cookbooks to me. After she died, my aunt gave me a box filled with cookbooks, and cuttings, and notebooks with recipes in her handwriting. One of the greatest treasures I have.

Both my parents are musical. So are my Aunt and Uncle. My parents eventually started a folk group mass at their church, and my aunt and uncle started one at their church. When I was little, Dad would bring his guitar, his recorders, and at one point-his banjo-, mom would bring her tambourine and afuji, and Mom and Dad and my Aunt and Uncle would all get together and play the songs they sang in church every sunday. My Aunt and Uncle had the same instruments that Mom and Dad had, with the addition of krumhorns, so it was 4 people singing and playing. Grandma loved it. As we all got older, and my brother and I grew up, and we didn't get together as much, the musical endings to our get togethers gradually faded. After a while, we only got together around Thanksgiving, New Year's, 4th of July. And with all the talking, eating, playing with great-grandchildren, and talking, there never seemed to be time for singing. At Grandma's funeral Mass, the four of them all played together for the last time for Grandma.

I'm betting she loved it.

What if anti-abortion activists weren’t sexist?

2006-04-21T18:27:00.000-05:00

This isn't my post.. this post belongs to lwfern, a much more organized and thoughtful person than I...

Read and comment on the original @ What if anti-abortion activists weren't sexist?

What if anti-abortion activists weren’t sexist?

The Michigan GOP unanimously approved an anti-abortion position recently, which opposes abortion in cases where the woman was raped, as well as cases where her life would be in danger from pregnancy or childbirth.

The underlying presumptions are that:

1. The government has a compelling interest in mandating the use of our bodies to preserve the life of another.
2. Hardship or inconvenience, to include losing a job because of unapproved time off from work, future lost wages, or failing a semester at school do not release us from this basic responsibility.
3. Health risks, up to and including death, do not release us from this obligation.
4. Our obligation to society to save another life through use of our donor-bodies is not negated by disowning responsibility for creating the situation.
5. The financial burden of doing what’s necessary to sustain that life falls upon the donor-body, even if they do not have an interest in preserving the recipient’s life.

In the spirit of cooperation, I thought I’d suggest some additional legislation to support their platform. Here's what I have so far:

1. All citizens over the age of 16 are required to donate blood as often as eligible, i.e. every 56 days.
a. Citizens will be responsible for the cost of donating blood, as well as for the cost of supplying that blood to the recipient.
b. Those persons who fail to report on the 56th day after their previous donation will be charged with a felony offense.

2. All citizens between the ages of 18 and 60 are required to enter the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP) Registry.
a. Citizens will be required to pay a fee ranging from $50 to $100 for tissue matching.
b. Those citizens who are a match will be required to undergo surgery, at a doctor’s convenience, with little or no warning. Surgery will last approximately 45-90 minutes, will be done under general or regional anesthesia, and will entail insertion of a needle from the back of the pelvic bone to extract the marrow.
c. The donor-body (or their insurance) will be responsible for the total cost of this operation (for the donor and the recipient), which runs approximately $250,000.
d. Failure to participate in this important life-saving program is a felony.

3. Citizens are required to provide organ donations when requested by the government. Organs required may include: kidneys, lungs, hearts, pancreas, intestines, and liver.
a. The government recognizes that in some cases these operations may prove life-threatening to the donor (particularly the heart transplant), and sympathizes with this hardship; however a threat to the life of the donor is not an acceptable reason to avoid saving another innocent life.
b. Those citizens who are a match for a recipient will undergo surgery at the surgeons convenience, and should expect a recovery time ranging from weeks to months.
c. The donor-body, or their insurance, will be required to pick up the full medical cost for both the removal of the organ as well as the surgery to transplant it into the recipient. Costs may range anywhere from $25,000 to $367,000 depending on region, and type of transplant.
d. Failure to participate in this program is a felony.

4. Cadaver Harvesting
a. All deceased persons will be inspected for possible organ donation. Those candidates found usable will have organs donated. The immediate family will be responsible for the cost of organ removal, as well as the procedure to transplant the organs into the recipients.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, anyone think the anti-choice forces will man up and be equitable?

OMG ponies!!!!

2006-04-09T06:46:00.000-05:00

Tired of CAPTCHAs? KittenAuth Offers a Cute Alternative to End Comment Spam

Ok, this is adorable.

Here's the test....

changed my profile pic

2006-04-08T13:02:00.000-05:00

to the Kanji for 'kaze' (wind). see it, right over there?====>

I like it, it looks like the square root of boat.

High School, drugs, and lit. connections?

2006-04-08T12:49:00.000-05:00

I'd like to point out the plotline of anything by Cormier: there's this kid, and his life sucks, and then? he dies. or his life gets worse. or both.

this is why kids in high school do drugs. depressing literature.

C'mon, you've got the Grapes of Wrath: life sucks, you're poor, then some guy who's dying breastfeeds off ya. the end. Anything by Dostoyesvski. That book about the dude who turned into a roach, Metamorphosis, by Kafka. Does anything good ever happen to that guy? Does Godot ever show up? Does the proverbial bear use cottonelle?

The Catcher in the Rye (one of my favorite books, by the way).. does Holden get better? no. does anything really happen in the entire book? well, he gets drunk. yay. then he breaks his sister's record. then he goes to see her. then he gets away. the end. He ends it right before the good part where he goes really nuts. What's up with that?

Depressing. The Jungle? good diet aid. The Crucible? yay! perjury is fun! or not. The Scarlett Letter? yeah. You have sex and horrible things happen. Might as well be an episode of Buffy. (seriously.. she has sex with Angel and what... he turns evil. go figure. Kids, just say no to sex with soul-cursed vampires. and ministers with spines made of silly putty)

Shakespeare. I actually like Shakespeare. when it's performed by competent actors. Have you heard your average High School student read Shakespeare? it's enough to make you slash your wrists, drown yourself in a pond, or better yet- pour poison in your ear. (If you really want to know the truth.)

Anything by Chekhov. Chekhov's grocery list would be depressing. Chekhov's journal of how he had the most amazing sex in the universe with three goddesses and a midget would be depressing. because it's Chekhov.

Lord of the Flies. Your plane crashes, and not only does Dharma NOT give you a handy dandy food drop, you have to paint your body and kill a pig. with a stick. Where's Locke when you really need him, eh?

How come we never got to read Heinlein in school? Starship Troopers would be an excellent High School Lit class book. (and no.. it's nothing like the movie. I think the filmakers read the back of the book, and took it from there.)And it's not depressing. Stranger in a Strange Land, Time Enough for Love- more great ones. How about Marion Zimmer Bradley's Mists of Avalon? should be required reading in High School. nope.. not depressing and dry enough, I guess. How about Potok's The Chosen and The Promise? better than Great Expectations, any day.

While I'm pretending, I'm going to require Stephen King's The Stand as well. imo, it's his best work. And the good guys win. yay!

Then I'll make them watch Mononoke Hime and tell me who they think is "the bad guy" 'cause that'll be interesting. Then they won't need happy pills anymore, right?

Oh what am I thinking?

Overheard

2006-04-02T09:06:00.000-05:00

From my 7 year old:

"They share the same DNA, that's why they're brothers."

Hee. Smart kid, wonder where he learned about DNA, or have I been watching way too much CSI?

Yet Another reason why George Clooney rocks.

2006-04-01T11:21:00.000-05:00

Clooney takes aim at 'Gawker Stalker' site

An excellent plan.

Yeah, I know that an actor's job is, partially, "hey, look at me!" but that doesn't mean they want some idiot taking pictures of them while they're shopping for suppositories, ya know? Considering that there are quite a few people out there who think that an actor's Character is a Real Person, I'd say that telling said morons where to find the actors is not very bright, if not outright obnoxious.

Seriously, people need to pay less attention to celebrities. Too many attention whores are considered "talented" because they have good handlers. And are willing to barf up lunch. An Actor's job is to perform a character, and in some cases, promote the production.

That's it. All the rest is gravy, and Marlene Dietrich might have had the right idea. Privacy is highly underated.

Minding someone else's business

2006-03-23T10:52:00.000-05:00

Normally, I'm the "mind your own freaking business and leave me the hell alone too" kinda person about things that are.. well, not my business.

like.. how many children should a person have? Not my business. You want one? none? 75? hey, not my bus.. seriously, not my business. repeat: not. my. business.

HOW-FREAKING-EVER

WTF is up with women who are pounding them out like a spawning flounder? Seriously. I mean, it's still none of my business, but hey.. When you need to buy a SCHOOLBUS to transport your family, doesn't it give you pause? No? Allrighty then....

HOW-FREAKING-EVER

When you go on television, I get to comment. You have officially made it MY BUSINESS. (also, if you're standing in front of a women's clinic with your 12 spawnlings, telling women not to get whatever health care they deem necessary? stfu and gbtw already. You have now made your reproductive issues fair game.)

You know these women.. they have a lot of reasons, some of them a religious imperative to have as many children as possible, because the earth won't be populated enough till every other species is wiped off the face of the planet. Some of them have husbands who insist that they have more children than they can handle. (Rusty Yates, if there's a Hell, you should burn. no, really.) Some of them like the attention they get being pregnant, they like "ze kyeewt wittwe bay-beeee" and dressing said offspring up in little outfits, and showing them off to all and sundry. And then, right around the time the kid is old enough to say "I hate you mommy! you SUCK!" (which, coincidentally, is right around the time when you can start having really interesting conversations with them) these women turn around and spawn a replacement. And the older kid becomes either invisible, a scapegoat, or the responsibility of one of their older siblings.

For some reason, it's the last catagory that I think are truly disturbed, and that I find truly disturbing. The idea that kids are no longer "fun" once they can talk. The idea that being pregnant or carting around an infant not only makes you interesting, desirable, special, but that it's the ONLY thing that does so. The fact that there is no way in hell even two parents can spend any reasonable quantity of quality, one-on-one time with each child when they've got a dozen kids enters into it as well.

It's just creepy, and sad. And when you go on national television? I get to comment. If you're depressed, (and don't have a sadistic bastard for a husband) why are you having another kid? If you can't feed the kids you've got, why are you having another kid? If you are stressed out, why are you having another kid? If you have 11 girls, and you want a boy? get a puppy. Hell, I wanted a daughter in the worst way, but I ended up with three boys that I love intensly, and would give none of them up for a daughter. (a massage, maybe) (no, not really.) So what the hell is up with producing till you get a specific sex? ::remember.. if you keep it off national television, none of my business. This is directed to women who go on talk shows, "nanny" shows, and Discovery network "101 kids, and another in the oven" specials.::

To quote Col. Tigh: "What the HELL?"

Oh my god. Move out to a farm and raise baby goats or something, but please.... If you are looking for someone to love you, why THE HELL are you having another kid? Babies do not love you. Babies do not love. Babies turn milk into poo. And then they scream. And then they sleep. Repeat ad nauseum. If you do your job right, and you don't get a joker in the genetics card game of life, you eventually end up with a person who will love you and respect you, and contribute to whatever society they live in, but when they first pop out? No love. You are their bitch, you serve and protect. When they are two? three? They love you... they also love smearing poo on the walls, smearing food all over their bodies, tossing rice krispies all over the room and singing the same song 1,952 times in a row.. and they love these things in no particular order, so you might find yourself dumped for a box of cheerios. Honestly, if you do your job as a parent, not only will they absolutely HATE you when they're 15, but even when they finally get back around to loving you again, they will HOPEFULLY love someone else more. Because ain't nothing sadder than a man who loves mommy more than the woman he's married to.

Get love, look for love, from adults. From people who didn't live inside you. Look for meaning in your life other than how many people you can add to the census. If you're a teenager, going on Maury is not a good enough reason to deliberately have a baby. And no, that baby won't love you either. That baby will make it difficult to go anywhere and/or finish your education. And having a baby for some guy won't make him love you. It won't give you "a part of him" because honestly... that baby isn't him. That baby isn't you. Children, offspring, are not redemption, they are not replacements, they are their own people who are entirely separate from their parents. Different. People. Who deserve to grow into whoever they will become, without bizzare expectations.

Good. god. And why the heck are you ON TELEVISION anyway? Can't you think of a better way to spend your time? Take your kids to the park already.

But don't take them the day I'm going there, because we want a chance at the swings.

:oP

Home Maintenence

2006-03-13T08:18:00.000-05:00

I've made a bunch of really good friends on the net in the past decade. One of them is a woman who's preferred webname is Harvestmoon. Her home is in New Orleans. Of course, that's not where her house is. She grew up in New Orleans. She lived in several places around the country, but her home, her true home, has always been New Orleans. For the past few years, however, her house- where she lived, where she worked- was in New Orleans. She lived in a house that was built before there were power lines, that had a large tree in front, a garden out back, and she cared for a feral cat colony back there.

It's gone. Her home is broken, her heart is broken. Breaks my heart, too. When a place is home, it's not the buildings, it's not the location.. it's the people, it's the history, it's the relationships that thrive there.

Her home... looks like a bombed out city. While our government is busy passing legislation to restrict the Constitution (hey, it's just a piece of paper, right?) they are busy NOT passing legislation to fix up one of the greatest cities in our nation. New Orleans has a history that dates back to well before Jefferson even bought the land from France. I live in Ohio, and it's because of New Orleans that my city, Cleveland, became part of the U.S.

Two years ago, husbandguy and I bought an old house. It takes a lot of cash to maintain it, 'cause it's .. old. Even if we had bought a relatively new house, we would still have to spend the dough to maintain it.

People in New Orelans? don't really have that option. They were doing fine before the disaster hit, but after? Short attention span on the part of the rest of the nation has kicked in. It's been 7 months, and there are people who have STILL not gotten nearly enough cash to try and maintain- read demolish or completely renovate- their homes. Many of them have simply given up hope, left their hearts and homes, started over somewhere else. Harvest.. went back home. She tried TWICE to maintain a home where her heart was. The cats? gone. The garden? gone, of course. all gone. Her family, her history are there, but most people can only live without clean water, electricity, a working sanitation and sewer system and a decent roof over their heads for so long. I don't know why it should shock me that a once thriving part of our nation looks like a war zone. We're really not that special. I just expect better in my own country, I guess.

A friend of mine, who also lives in New Orleans, but had the good fortune to live up on the bluff where the devastation wasn't so horrific, sent me this video link. My Gods. People really don't care anymore. People are bitching about a stupid cowboy movie as if their kids will catch 'teh ghey' by walking past a theater showing it, but they can't give a damn about this. Think about it this way... if a disater struck your city, do you expect to get a return from all the federal dollars you've been sending the governemnt all your working life? Think about that when you do your taxes.. are we really getting our money's worth?

yeah, this post is all over the map.

2 year anniversary.

2006-03-09T12:55:00.000-05:00

About 2 years ago, my youngest son had his last chemo treatment. He had his last dose of toxic chemicals sent through the catheter inserted into the largest vein they could find in his chest. He had his last dose of steroids and methotrexate mixed with yogurt. He had his last bone marrow biopsy. He had his last lumbar puncture. He had his last surgery- to remove the port implanted under his skin that they used to give him his chemo. In June we had a party for him, a combination "No More Chemo" and 6th birthday party.

A couple weeks before Christmas, 2000, Husbandguy and I thought our 2 1/2 year old had the flu. A bad case of the flu, but something that he would weather with enough pedialyte and snuggling.

We were wrong.

I went to get him up one thursday morning and my baby was so pale, his lips and tounge were about white. He didn't register me. He didn't cry. We took him to the ER, they inserted a tube down his throat, they drew blood that looked like dirty orange water. They didn't know what was wrong with him, and we took an ambulance ride to the Cleveland Clinic, where they put him in the PICU- pediatric intensive care unit. My toddler was hooked up to machines, with tubes coming out of him, he still didn't respond to anyone, and they didn't know what was wrong with him. It could have been a virus, it could have been diabetes (which his grandfather has) it could have been a lot of things. There were no blasts (cells that indicate cancer) in his bloodwork. The blasts were in his bone marrow. He was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, also known as ALL. As soon as he was stable enough, they inserted a Broviac Catheter in his tiny chest, and started his chemo. He was in the hospital for over a month. Christmas, New Years, both spent at the hospital, in shifts, because while one of us stayed with him, the other parent had to stay with our other boys- midkid, who was almost 5 and the doomed one, who was 12 at the time.

After the first infusion, the cancer was gone... however, with leukemia, chemo treatments must continue for 2 1/2 years for boys. (1 1/2 to 2 years for girls. at least the protocol used at the Clinic prescribed this.) This is because you can't just cut out the cancerous part.. it's in the bone marrow, and they don't know which section of marrow it is starting in. Bone marrow replacement is a last resort. So, when babyguy finally came home, he was still not "all better" and I had to clean his broviac site every day, and give him meds twice a day. We mixed the meds with chocolate syrup and used a syringe to squirt the nasty stuff in his mouth. What we didn't know then, but found out later, was that when the leukemia first started, it weakened the blood vessels in his eyes, so that they leaked blood that formed clots inside his eyes. So not only was he getting chemo through a tube in his chest, and more chemo in nasty meds he had to take, and yet MORE chemo in shots in his thigh muscles, and bone marrow biopsies, and needles stuck in his spine (the last two of which he was under general anesthesia for, thank the Gods) he couldn't see. So after he had 'recovered' from his first infusion/major round of chemo, he had eye surgery, on both eyes.

Right before this, we had initiated potty training and weaning him off his pacifier. For obvious reasons, both these projects were put on hold.

I spent mother's day that year in the hospital with him, removing his hair, which was falling out in clumps.

And yet.. he was still a normal kid, a bald kid, but still a kid. He started talking when he was still too sick to get off the couch, and he kept talking after he got better, a mile a minute. He ran around like a little maniac, and the standing joke at the clinic was "Have you seen a little bald kid running around?" "You'll have to be more specific." The clinic staff became almost a second family. We saw them 3 times a week at first, then once a week, then every couple of weeks. A good period was once a month. On my first visit, a mother asked me about my son, and said "we're here for his annual blood check. My son's been cancer free for 10 years. It gets better, it really does."

For his third birthday, we had a party. He got a hat, which he loved. He was like any other little 3 year old, except for the tube coming out of his chest. The meds? part of regular life. Bi-weekly checkups? part of regular life. Changing the dressing on his broviac? part of regular life. Shampoo sessions? not so much. Eventually, his skin started reacting badly to the tape used on his dressing, and we had to come up with alternate methods to keep his dressing on. For a while, we used mesh bandages to hold it in place. It was during this period, that I went to visit a friend in Wisconsin, and Husbandguy let Babyguy play at washing dishes. He took pictures. We have a picture of a little bald toddler, wearing only a diaper and bandages around his chest, washing dishes. Child Labor? Boo-Yah! Hey, China has NOTHING on us.

Every time he spiked a fever, he had to be hospitalized for a minimum of 3 days. We spent a lot of time in the hospital that first year. At one point, he had to stay three weeks, but he wasn't sick. So we had a lot of cabin fever. There was a huge fish tank at the end of the hall on the pediatric ward.. we spent a lot of time going to see the fishies. There was a tv in the room, and we watched a lot of Batman Beyond andLittle Bear and Ranma 1/2. The fun part about Ranma is that it's Anime. An anime about a boy who turns into a girl when cold water is splashed on him. At which point he (she?) pulls his (her?) shirt apart to stare in disbelief at his (her?)breasts. Or someone else does. Humor. Some of the hospital staff were like "huh? wah?" and others liked it enough that they would stay and watch untill they had to get back to work. I got a lot of questions.. "Why did that guy turn into a piglet?" "Why did that man turn into a panda?" hee. I had a three year old who knew what "Ranma no baka" meant. double hee.

The thing is, all of it was just life. You get into a routine where "oh hey, time to spend a week in the hospital" is no big deal. Taking your preschooler to the surgical unit so he can be put under general anesthesia while they poke needles into his hip bone and spine is no big deal. You know exactly what to pack to eat, you know to wake him up at midnight to feed him some crackers and water because 'nothing by mouth' for at least 8 hours before surgery is the rule, you have a special backpack and lunchbox that is just for clinic days, packed with toys, crayons, paper, and books. You get to know Dora the Explorer, Little Bear and other Nick jr. characters better than you knew your first boyfriend. On days when Babyguy wasn't allowed to eat anything, I never ate anything either and then we would eat together, in the recovery room, a little picnic on the hospital bed with the hospital tv playing Nick jr and the staff coming in and taking blood pressure, temp and whatever. He got to the point where they would come in and say "time for vitals" and he would hold his arm out to put the blood pressure cuff on, then hold his arm up so they could put the thermometer under his arm. Automatically, no fussing, no crying.. this was just a part of regular life.

The summer of 2002, they replaced his broviac with a port imbedded under his skin. this meant no more dressing changes, no more tape that hurt his skin, he could swim, get wet, do anything any other kid his age could do. He could play in the bath. His hair was growing back, he was a regular kid... except for the monthly Clinic visits for his maintenence chemo. And the chemo he still had to take every day. And the steroids he still had to take once a month for a week. And the LP's every three months. The staff at the surgical center knew us by name, he had a chart that was thicker than an unabridged large print dictionary. But the best thing about the port? No more hospital time.

Which brings me to March, 2004. By this time Babyguy had had 2 surgeries to implant broviac tubes, surgery to remove his first broviac, surgery to implant his port, eye surgery and a hernia surgery. Not to mention all the times he was put under for biopsies and lp's. He'd had gallons of blood drawn and received tons of meds. So we went in for the last surgery, to remove the port. The Party came a little later.

We still had to go to the clinic once a month for a year- that didn't change, except that now we put the Emla cream (numbing cream) on his arm instead of over his port. He had blood draws every month for a year. Last year, this switched to every 3 months. This year, every 6 months.. for the first time in 5 years, I couldn't make my next clinic appointment because they didn't schedule that far in advance. This may not mean anything to most people, but it meant a hell of a lot to me. Starting next March, we'll go in once a year. Just a blood draw, nothing major. I still get antsy when he's sick. I still worry that the leukemia will come back. He's been cancer free for 5 years now, but sometimes it comes back when they are teenagers. Everytime, his blood counts are normal. Normal. This is one instance where I love normal.

I want to live in a world where the word "pediatric" is NEVER coupled with the word "oncology."

so, anyway, really long post this time. I just never sat down and wrote about this stuff before. Husbandguy is the writer in our family, not me.

Happy anniversary, Babyguy.

Thank you, Mr. Kucinich

2006-03-08T19:49:00.000-05:00

I'm glad I voted for you. MY rep voted AGAINST the "patriot" aka fark-me-up-the-rear act.

too bad I can count on both my senators to be complete assgaskets. They won't even use lube.

Hey there Mr. Orwell, how ya doin???

2006-03-07T10:20:00.000-05:00

Two more reasons why the "Patriot Act" is a gargantuan assbasket of pigshit.

Revised Patriot Act targets allergy, cold meds

Warning! Financial responsibility can lead to terrorism

By the time Chimpy Mcwunderboi is out of office, living in this country is going to be the equivalent of working in one of those stripper peepshows. Under surveillance by creepy control freaks who don't need to know about my shit 90% of the time. Who like to make life even more difficult just because they can.

WTF is up with that? OH NOES!!! I'm buying decongestants!!! Seriously, I'm an obvious threat to the Government who needs to register with the local authorities and report my location every 28 days. Because what? I might branch out into analgesics!!!... wait. Too late. I also "abuse" Excedrine migraine for the same reason. Oddly enough, I'm not such a big fan of sinus migraines. I know, weird huh?

"It's not such a big deal, all you have to do is present ID and sign something." That's entirely the point. Presumption of guilt right off the bat. Why do I have to present ID and sign for doing something LEGAL? "But it's to stop those evil meth guys. Don't you want to help with that? Don't you support the war on drugs?" Frankly, no. Not when it erodes even more of our privacy from the freaking government. There are enough hassles in life, without having to stand in line for 15 minutes and haul out ID to purchase a HARMLESS decongestant. The war on drugs is a joke, and last I checked, there is NO REASON to make psuedoephedrine Schedule One. And while we're at it, bring back ephedrine already. that's why an intelligent set of lawmakers created the concept of warning labels. Not only do they warn the dumbasses, but they provide entertaining reading for the rest of us.

Let's talk about fiscal responsibility for a minute. You'd think that those in the governemnt, those who write our laws would think that this is a goo-- shit, I can't even type that with a straight face. Seeing as how our Treasury Secretary is petitioning to raise the $8.2 trillion national debt limit, I guess reducing debt isn't high on their list of "things we give out gold stars for" is it? So getting dinged by the govt for paying off your credit cards should come as no surprise. Am I senile, or wasn't the National Debt nearing about zero under Clinton? Thank YOU, Chimpy Mcwunderboi!!!! Excuse the hell out of us not-rich-enough-to-shit-gold-bricks if we wish to reduce our interest payments to your buddies. BTW, your war? You pay for it. kthanxbye!

gah.

this entry was written while listening to KMFDM's "Ultra" over and over and over...

A Public Service Announcement.

2006-03-04T11:33:00.000-05:00

Hazardous Household Waste

A very good site to breeze up on your chemistry. Especially if you are a dumbass (like me) and pour full strength bleach behind your tub to clean back there where you can't reach. (have an antique pedestal tub. right up against the wall. can't reach behind it.)

Where the cat has been, shall we say, "acting out" and refusing to use her litter box.

oy.

For Future Reference, (and in case my hardrive crashes) here are a couple very very good alternatives to that chemical which shall never be bought full strength again:

Toxic and Nontoxic Green Earth Friendly Cleaning Products
Household Cleaners. Poison Control Center

You'd think I'd learn, but noooooooooooooooo.

Well that's just smurfy.

2006-03-03T09:04:00.000-05:00

Lately, I've been substituting "smurfy" for "gay" whenever I see the word "gay" used in a derogatory fashion.

It makes for some fun reading.

I guess it's gonna be pretty smurfy in hell.

Window seat, please.

2006-03-01T22:45:00.000-05:00

High Student Arrested For Postings On MySpace

~commentary by Kit~

Myspace.com, it is a popular and sometimes dangerous website among teens and now there has been an arrest because of the site.

The reason is the image of a local high school student, holding a gun and allegedly a bag of marijuana. The boy has been charged, but there is much more to this story.

What a freaking dumbass.

“We can not have kids posing with drugs on websites

OH NOES!!!!!! TEH DRUGGS!!!!!!!

While many teenagers who use the myspace website boast about using drugs, one 16-year-old from Bensalem actually showed them.

He posted pictures on the popular website of him posing with a gun, and various drugs, while bragging he made 250,000 dollars a year by selling them.

Again: What a freaking dumbass.

“I do not suggest letting a child have a myspace account, more bad than good can come of it,” said Harran.

Roger that, Chief Wiggum. (eyerollage)

Police said that almost as troubling as the drugs is the lack of knowledge parents have as to what their children are doing on the computer.

I always assumed they were typing. or using the mouse. Just as long as they clean up the mess afterwards....

He added that kids are coming up with new ways to trick their parents.

well this has never been done before. wow. this generation is SOOOOOOOO different from previous ones.

“I think it's a good thing, but can't be a bad thing if people abuse it or use it the wrong way,” said John Cappol.

thank you, Captain Obvious.

Do's and Don'ts

2006-02-28T08:05:00.000-05:00

Today's Dooce

A couple of thoughts on that....

1. She's got a point. That I happen to agree with, wholeheartedly. Why IS staying at home with your kids seen as a cop-out, as an invalid choice, as a job only for those who have "given up" or are considered too stupid to hold a "real" job, anyway? Like it's so much harder to work the check-out of Target than it is to plan, shop for, and cook relatively healthy meals that the kids will actually eat? than it is to spend the day with a toddler, change his diapers 12 times, and keep him entertained and somewhat mentally challenged without resorting to the use of duct tape and Barney?

Why is it considered harder to train teenage people how to stock shelves than it is to train them to clean up their freaking rooms, do their own laundry, and generally be self-sufficient people? Harder to teach them algebra than it is to teach them to think for themselves, to ask questions of authority, to come to their own conclusions and stand by their beliefs? Why is it considered an invalid choice to try to be HOME when your teenaged offspring get home from school, instead of at work, wondering if they're going to set the house on fire after smoking all that crack? Why are women who stay home, or want to stay home considered such losers by some? At least most of us are happy at our jobs, even if the pay sucks.

2. How come so few people think the same thoughts about men? Stay at home Dads are even more reviled than stay at home Moms are.

~~~~~~~~~~

I stay at home, although I need to find some way to bring in the cash. I don't know if I fit the demographic or not.

I don't watch soaps.
I do watch Battlestar Galactica.

I drive a car-based SUV
There are no, and never will be, any church related bumper stickers on it. There may be a pentacle on it.

I don't support bushtard or his campaign to create more wealth for his buddies.
I do support a person's right to control their reproduction, their bodies, and decide who uses them.

I don't go to any church.
I don't go to any bars, either.
I do go to Home Depot.

I occasionally shop at the local whole-foods market.
I usually shop at the local major chain.

I loathe the colors pink, orange, beige and lime green.
I usually wear all black.

I don't have any shirts with bunnies, teddy bears, adorable puppies or kittens on them.
I do have shirts with skeletons on them. I need more.

I don't wear a diamond wedding set.
My wedding ring has dragons on it.

I don't watch Phil.
I do watch Ghost in the Shell SAC.

I don't listen to Country or Pop radio.
I do listen to SR-71, Neuroticfish, and Oingo Boingo that I've bought or downloaded, and burned to a custom CD.

I don't belong to any clubs.
I do belong to several online forums.

I will never vote Republican. I'm not a fundamentalist Christian, or a Christian of any sort.
So why do they seem to be the only groups that think staying home with your kids isn't a waste of a person? (as long as the person is female. arrgghh.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The reason I haven't updated in a while is that I've been BUSY. I cleaned out the kids' room, the playroom, the attic storage room and the linen closet. I've been laying tile, painting, putting up shelves, and organizing. I've also been spending more cuddle time with husbandguy, which cuts into online foolery, as well.

Kit Kaze, creator of functioning adults.

Note to the general public

2006-02-12T11:20:00.000-05:00

If you can buy your scent in the same place you buy your motor oil? You might want to either a)consider a change or b)stop bathing in it.

thank you.

169 BOY

2006-01-25T14:52:00.000-05:00

That was the license plate on my pontiac when I was in college.

No one believed it wasn't personalized.

especially when they saw it parked in the parking lot of the local gay bar.

Quote

2006-01-22T13:04:00.000-05:00

When they took the 4th Amendment, I was quiet because I didn't deal drugs.
When they took the 6th Amendment, I was quiet because I am innocent.
When they took the 2nd Amendment, I was quiet because I don't own a gun.
Now they have taken the 1st Amendment, and I can only be quiet.
--Lyle Myhr

Cool! I'm old!

2006-01-21T11:19:00.000-05:00

Just sitting here looking at my hair, and I noticed a white one. COOL! So now I'm looking all over to see if I can find more. What's cool about my white hair? it's not gray, it's WHITE. Silvery, pretty, and white. And since my hair is babyfine anyway, the fact that my white hair is thicker than the ones around it is cause for rejoicing as well.

no, I DO NOT need a life, thank you.

Conversations with my mother

2006-01-14T19:43:00.000-05:00

If insanity is hereditary, I swear to the Gods I'm adopted. Both my parents are sane, rational people. How in the hell did they end up with a daughter who looked up the definition of "drama queen" as a fetus, and decided HEY! that sounds like a lot of fun!

I started out with frosted hair. Seriously, I had brown hair with blonde tips when I was born. Mom took credit for that one, but I Totally crawled out of the womb one night and applied the bleach myself.

I can remember being about 2, and Mom was yelling at me for some minor infraction of the rules like, oh, putting a fork in an outlet, and thinking "wow, Mommy has really pretty hair. I wish my hair was that pretty."

When I was a kid, and I couldn't find my bookbag before school, it was THE END OF THE WORLD! seriously, the planet was going to come to a grinding halt because Kit couldn't find her spelling book that she left under the chair in the living room. (see, I needed my spelling book, because I hadn't actually done my homework, and was planning on doing it on the busride to school. If I missed the bus, mom wouldn't let me get away with doing my homework in the car, plus I wouldn't have enough time. and if I didn't have the book, homework did not get done, and the nuns would get that nasty wrinkle between their eyes again, and it just. wasn't. pretty.)

Things I learned the hard way:

If I'm 7 and I slam my door repeatedly to let mom know that I'm pissed off, after about the third slam, my 6' 2" father will be standing RIGHT THERE. Nothing fouls up a good hissy fit like a dose of "Knock. It. Off." delivered in a deep baritone.

Just because I think that jumping down the laundry chute is fun, doesn't mean my 2 year old little brother will.

If I don't clean up my room in a timely fashion, I will come home to find most of my toys in the trash, and no amount of crying, screaming, begging and pleading will get them back.

I SO didn't have Veruca Salt's parents. "I want it NOW" would have resulted in a fatherly pat.
on the backside.
with a wooden spoon.

The mother's curse works. Mom wished kids "who act exactly like you do" on me and now? I call her to let her know what her grandsons have done lately, and the woman laughs and laughs and laughs. "really? my oldest grandson called you a horrible mother, and stalked off in a huff? BWAH!!!!!!!"

Well, I may not have inherited their sanity, but I did get a good dose of their sense of humor.

Selling God

2006-01-11T09:57:00.000-05:00

Some bible people showed up at my door just now. I could tell they were bible people because... see.. get this: they had bibles in their hands. Of course, I could be wrong. They could have had any books about that size (bigger than a paperback, smaller than a hardback) with that special bendy, well used leather cover, but I was figuring that they were bibles. One of each, Male/Female, so I'm taking the staggering leap and guessing that they were not Mormons. Also, they didn't have the little name tags that the Mormon guys wear. Although, the guy was sorta cute, in a Keanu reeves kinda way. But I'm guessing they were JW's. they might have been Baptists, but I'm really thinking they were JW's, because my neighbor has been entertaining some JW's for a couple weeks now. I mean, you get well dressed people, wearing relatively conservative clothing, with books in their hands, and my first thought is not "hey, the Library Police are here about that magazine I said I lost."

I answered the door, said "Hello?" and the (kinda cute) guy said "How are you" and that's the point I noticed the bible-y type books, and remembered my neighbor.

Now, I could have been very polite, and said "how can I help you" and listened to their spiel, but the Husband was sleeping, the dog was barking, and I really had to get going on my long eventfull day ahead of me of cleaning, cleaning, and driving to Mansfield and back because I? am Taxi-Mom.

I could also have been a bitch, and jumped their shit for peddling their religion like it was a magazine subscription, but... I decided that hey, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. As much as I really really detest the idea of walking up to someone's home and bothering them just to try and tell them that their beliefs are just wrong and mine are right, I gotta admit that not everyone feels the way I do. See how that works? Hello? I'm looking at you, evengelical-fundamentalist types. So I just said "Sorry, I'm not interested." and shut the door. You know what they did, those Crazy Crazy JW's??

they walked away. simple as that. Now, if they come back I'll have to revise my opinion, but as it stands...

That wasn't so bad, was it?

I'm still getting a Flying Spaghetti Monster sticker for my door.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

2006-01-06T21:58:00.000-05:00

I missed out on so much when I didn't watch SNL when my kid was small and I was in college....

New Car Goodness

2006-01-02T17:50:00.000-05:00

We've been needing a second car for a while now. We wanted one that we could drive in the ice and snow, as our city seems to think that plowing streets is optional. Offroading is not a priority, at least not intentionally offroading. So we got a car-based SUV.

we didn't intend on getting a new one, but that's how it worked out. So now I have, as my main car, a great big honking carbased SUV. (trust me, after the little civic I was driving, this thing is huge. eeps.)

But hey, it's gots neat features. The best, of course, is that I can plug my MP3 player into the radio, or put in a burned CD. no more MP3 player with headphones while driving, boo-yah!

and all three boys fit very well in the back seat. and I can fit whatever I need to in the back.

yay!

I'm still not a soccer mom, Dammit!!! Soccer moms don't play J-Pop, Hayashibara Megumi, Linkin Park, Korn and Elfman while driving do they? DO THEY????

hee.

Updated linky goodness

2005-12-22T12:49:00.000-05:00

because that's about all I'm up for today.

Current mood? bi-polar. Solstice is over, but the Krismas madness is still underway. I spent Solstice sick, which sucks. Now husbandguy is sick which sucks even more.

but I have a new oven, which will behave, unlike the last one, which hated me.

meh.

Ya gotta love people

2005-12-10T15:26:00.000-05:00

who can turn "Merry Christmas" into "Fuck You" don't ya?

http://www.withoutwalls.org

what a bunch of freaking morons. Obviously sufferring from "center-of-the-world-itis, these jackoffs have decided that anyone who celebrates a holiday in December that isn't Christmas (the religious version, I'm guessing) can just go fuck themselves or something. As if Yule, Solstice, Saturnalia, New Year's Eve, and the ever popular "Krismas" have no celebrants. Not to mention Channukah, which some Jews celebrate as a huge holiday, and some celebrate as a small one. Still a holiday in Dec.

If I know someone is Christian, then hell, I tell 'em merry Christmas already. But what the freaking hell is wrong with wishing someone a happy holiday, especially when you don't know what holiday that is?

And again, what a freaking non-issue. I am entirely sick of the farktarded fundamentalists who have taken over the news media in the past few years.

holy shit.

(which can be packaged for you and bought off e-bay for $9.95. just in time for the holidays.)

Happy Holidays

2005-12-07T16:16:00.000-05:00

and a Festive New Year.

Whatever holiday you happen to be celebrating. because, oddly enough, there's more than one this month.

imagine that.

Random

2005-12-03T20:37:00.000-05:00

Great Northern Mall has officially been renamed

get this...

"Westfield Shoppingtown"

No longer a "Mall" it's now a "Shoppingtown"

e-freaking-gads. As if they weren't pretentious and self-important enough.

It's so fun to be me.

2005-11-24T11:23:00.000-05:00

To start my week off right, my youngest decided to forget to take a bath Sunday night. So I had to give him a shower Monday morning, a prospect that as anyone who has ever had to get pokey kids ready for school in the morning knows, did not thrill.

So, he gets up there, pulls off his shirt, and reveals....

chicken pox.

joy.

Soooo come to find out that his pediatrician? has moved. A couple of towns away. what was 5 mins. in the car would now be a 30 min trek on the freeway. What was a small practice with one doctor, one receptionist, and a couple of nurses has become a huge multipractice with a major switchboard capable of keeping one on hold for at least 15 minutes. probably longer. It took that long for me to hang up and try the cancer clinic, in the vain hope that they would be able to tell me SOMETHING.

They could. they told me to keep him the hell away from them. (ok, they were a bit more polite.) So, I finally get through to his former pediatrician's office, and talk to some nurse who was reading the chicken pox information off of an online manual. Which, btw, I could have found myself, much faster, by google-ing. Just saying.

So, chicken pox boy and me are hanging out.

Now, the PLAN was to go to the in-laws for T-day. However, now the PLAN was for husbandguy and the other two boys to go to the in-laws for T-day.

except the man-boy (who is doomed) had already decided that he was eating turkey at his in-laws.. I mean, girlfriend's house. So it would be just Husbandguy and midkid going down to the in-laws, where they are supposed to load up on turkey to bring back to those of us who have to stay home.

Till this morning, when husbandguy decided that he wasn't about to brave 40 mph winds, snow and ice to drive 100 some miles one way for turkey.

THE PLAN, once again, went into the dumpster.

So, at 8:30 this morning, I was informed that no one will be bringing me back turkey and trimmings, and that if I want Thanksgiving dinner, I'm going to have to make it myself.

joy.

yay.

Can y'all SENSE the enthusiasm wafting over the intarweb?

me neither.

So, I went out this morning, bought all the crap I needed to buy to make T-day, and get to eat late. and clean up. and cook.

on the plus side, chicken pox boy seems to be over the worst part, partly because, as I was putting lotion on his pox, he pointed out a scabbed over one on his hip and said "oh yeah, that was there Sunday or Saturday."

thanks, kid. that's great. Whose house were you playing over at on Saturday and Sunday? That's my boy! spreading disease and pestilence with great holiday gusto.

Soo.. any takers on how interesting my Yule celebrations are going to be?

I gotta go take pie number one out of the oven now.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Been a while, huh?

2005-11-16T15:05:00.000-05:00

Now, I could wish that life was more interesting... but really, who in their right minds ever wishes that?

Good news interesting is always good... but again, how many times does THAT happen?

And bad news interesting? I don't want to think about it.

Random:
What do celebrities think about people who put up webpages to them? I mean, here's a guy, just working his craft, and some random person has a webpage going on about how hot he is or whatever, and then come to find out that said random person is a middle aged librarian or something. who really needs to diet. and get her teeth cleaned. I mean, is the actor going to be glad anyway, since he's getting exposure? (not like that. geez.) or is he going to be creeped out that this person is obsessed enough with him to put up a webpage about him. What if she has self-insertion fanfics with him? I mean, that has GOT TO be creepy.

Cherry starbursts. sour or regular. gift. from. the. Gods.

Okay, men? how hard is it to hit the toilet? Why can't you clean up after yourselves?

My youngest just came in the door yelling "It's snowing!". I am so not ready for snow. please. It was just in the 70's last week, what. the. hell?

How many people are actually ready for the holidays at this point, and why? really--- why?

Happy Holidays. You know it's a holiday somewhere.
Earth Calendar.. a holiday, every day.
For instance.. today is the International Day for Tolerance.

this, of course, means that I have to complain about random people some more.

For those from "I'm not sorry" who are interested.

2005-11-02T21:10:00.000-05:00

I've never had an abortion. never. I've been with friends who've gotten one, and I have friends who have gotten one, but I've never needed the procedure.

I've had my birth control fail on me three times. that I know of.

I have three sons.

The first time was when I was 20 years old, a stoner, smoker, drinker, party girl with a boyfriend that I chose for his stamina in bed, his beard, his sarcastic wit, his sense of style, and the fact that he was a DJ and a film major. Our relationship was on the rocks anyway, when I discovered that you really do have to take the pill at the SAME TIME every day. Either that or the Quality control at Ortho-Novum was not really up to par in 1987.

When I informed boyfriend, he informed me that if I didn't get an abortion, I would ruin his life, and that he was telling his new girlfriend that I was a lot farther along than I was, because he had told her that he had broken up with me months ago. Like I said, I wasn't looking for a husband here, I was looking for a good time. I got what I wanted, didn't I?

My parents are moderately Pro-Life. They also put their money where their mouths were, and took my pregnant self back in, and paid for an OB/GYN. Unfortunately for all concerned, I developed Pre-Eclampsia and Toxemia, and had to be delivered early by C-Section. My son was a preemie and went immediately to the PICU in a nearby children's hospital.

Since all these complications cost way too much, I ended up turning to the dark side and going on welfare.

Yes, I'm an evil, evil Welfare Queen. (at one time.) I had a child that I could not support. I went back to college, got my degree, got a job, went off welfare. yay me. Still an EVYILLL single mom. Fungus on the Family would still not approve.

and let's talk about allll the help I received from various "pro-life" organizations..

*crickets*

Planned Parenthood did give me free birth control, though. YAY for PP.

The boy turns 18 this week. I wouldn't have missed this ride for the world.

Part two

2005-11-02T18:27:00.000-05:00

The second time my bc failed, I was with a man that I had chosen for, among other things, his parenting qualities. He was fantastic with my 6 year old son, sweet, optimistic, sincere, and I still love him.

At the time I was 28, had just been laid off from my job, was living in a new city, had been with lover for over a year, and was looking for a summer job. then I discovered that a condom had broken at some point, and we missed it, or that one had leaked, or whatever, but.. hey. The stick was so pink, I'm suprised it didn't come with it's own Barbie.

We discussed it, and decided (for better or worse) that we could manage a baby. Okay, so insanity runs in the family, and I was yet again having a child that I could not support (having no health insurance) but this time I had the father on my side, we were a team, rah rah rah.

Called up the local "abortion alternaticve" center and asked them if they could help me, thinking, oh, that they would be able to supply prenatal vitamins, prenatal care, maybe some maternity clothes, affordable daycare for my infant when I went back to work.

WTF was I thinking? like I said.. insanity. the convo went something like this:

Me: "Hello, I was wondering if you could help me. See, I don't have any health insurance, and I'm pregnant, we want to keep the baby, I already have one child, what can you do for me?"

Numbnuts AA: "We can give you a layette and help you sign up for welfare."

Me: "..."

yep... lotsa help from those freaks. I signed up for Healthy Start and WIC my own damn self, thanks anyway. The layette I still had from my FIRST child, did I mention that I ALREADY HAVE A KID? yes? good.

At any rate, Lover and I decided that since we were getting married anyway, we might as well do it now, and not wait a couple more years, like we had originally planned. I was 6 months preggers at my wedding, and if anyone had something to say, they could stuff it. Fortunately I had left the Catholic Church by this point, so I didn't have to put up with any flak from a "pro-life" church... We had a UU minister.

Remember how I was gonna get a summer job? That went down the tubes fast, as I had a high risk pregnancy. Aparantly my body just DOES NOT deal with spawn very well.

but midkid was delivered after I was induced, in the middle of a freaking snowstorm, right before the superbowl.

9 lbs, 15 1/2 oz. VBAC.

I deserve a freaking medal.

Favorite quote from midkid?
"Squaredancing is a humiliation to my life."

Gotta love a kid who hates squaredancing.

part three

2005-11-02T17:43:00.000-05:00

The third time my bc failed, I was married, with a kid in elementary school, and a toddler. A loveable, wonderfull 1 year old who started walking when he was 9 months old, and climbed on the furniture.

At that time, Husband and I were using that wonderfull form of birth control known as "modified rhythm." that is, we used condoms when we thought I might be fertile, based on when my periods came.

Yes, we can feed ourselves, and yeah.. we vote. Scary, huh?

at any rate, I was visited yet again by the ghost of the pink pee stick. yikes.

This time though, we had medical coverage, husband had a good job, we were in a fairly good place financially, so abortion wasn't even considered.

Till one of the tests came back funny. So we had a super-ultrasound done, found out that it was a third boy, and that he was healthy as could be. However, yet again, I was a "high risk" pregnancy, but this time I had the good drugs, so I wasn't as sick and miserable as I had been the last two times.

In the middle of summer I had my last baby. He was also a VBAC, 8 lbs, 13 oz, came out squalling.

I didn't think I could fall in love with him as I had my first and second boys. My first boy, I was so sick when he was born that I hardly registered that he was out. I remember asking my mother what he looked like, but that was about it. I didn't get to hold him till he was a week old. I didn't get to see him till he was 5 days old. My second, I hemorrhaged after the birth, and I was out of it.. only noticing that he had a full head of hair, and that he was FREAKING HUGE!

I loved my two boys so much, I didn't think I could love another one as much. But I did.

I also spent the first week home with him sobbing my eyes out because I thought I would never have another baby. Freaky, huh? inconsistant much? Now I would be THRILLED to have a free tubal. At the time, I wanted to keep my options open.

It's been over 7 years, and my little guy is in first grade now. He was diagnosed with ALL (Leukemia) when he was 2 1/2. He's been off chemo for a year and a half now, and he is the SMARTEST kid on the planet.

and he looks like Harry Potter with his glasses, which is kinda funny.

--------------------------------------------
On Abortion rights:

I CHOSE to have my three boys. I CHOSE to bring them into the world. I didn't choose to get pregnant, but I am DAMNED GLAD I had the choice availiable. I can never say I "had" to have my boys.

I have a friend who was pregnant, and her ONLY feeling was "Get This THING! OUT of me!" She aborted. I had a friend who was suicidally depressed during and after her only pregnancy that came to term, and she aborted a subsequent pregnancy, as the depression was heading itno psychosis territory. I have had friends who have aborted because they wanted careers, not kids, because it just wasn't the right time to have a baby, because they had as many kids as they could handle, and because they were too unstable to parent. I went with one friend to the clinic, where they wer not monsters, they were proffesionals who performed a needed medical procedure for a woman who was making her own decisions, much as I made my own decisions to have my boys.

Forcing women to have babies simply because their bc failed is akin to rape, imo. Consent to sex is not consent to pregnancy, no matter what the neanderthals scream.

You know what? I had my three kids. I'm not sorry I had them. but I'm done. My last pregnancy was hard enough, I'm almost 40, and Husband and I are done. We're not having any more, and we're content with that. That doesn't mean we are not having sex again, btw. Not exactly conducive to a good relationship, is it?

Unless you're a member of Fungus on the Family, that is...

boobies

2005-10-25T11:01:00.000-05:00

'cause "first post" is lame.